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Ruqayya Gibson

Waiting To Wake Up





I wake up wondering am I still dreaming? I look around me dazed and confused...


Waiting to Wake up.


What we know about reality tells me that I had been asleep and am waking from a period of rest and that all those experiences I just had while my eyes were closed were not real.


But they felt so real.


I was just holding my son and laughing with him. He had gone off to college and he was home visiting. I felt him. It had to be real.


Then my eyes are forced open and that sinking feeling sets in my gut and I try to shut my eyes again and go back to whatever realm I was just snatched away from. Why couldn't that last forever? Why couldn't I stay there? Or why couldn't he stay here? Why couldn't we stay together as we were meant to be?


Sometimes it feels like I wake up when I go to sleep and that when I "wake up" I'm forced to live in a dream. Moving in slow motion. I wish I could "stay woke" and be at peace with my child all the time but I'm forced to "wake up" everyday and continue to live this dream.


This has to be a dream. In what alternate universe could this possibly be my reality?


Life is a dream within a dream and I am just waiting to wake up.


Everyone has it wrong. That realm I just left was not a dream. And this reality we are operating within is not the real life. This is a passage that we must go through to get to the ultimate reality.

We pass through different levels of dream states as we approach the wakefulness that awaits us eventually where we will be together with our loved ones for eternity in bliss.


When we truly wake up we will know we are awake.


Knowing that this life is not the real life helps me understand that this separation from my child is not real.


It feels real. But that's because we equate being able to see or touch something to it's presence.


Oxygen is real. Can you see it? Can you touch it? Carbon dioxide? Hydrogen molecules?


But we know they are real. And you take two things you cannot see or touch and put them together and we have water...something we can see and feel.


We carry our children with us. Even though we can't touch them, we can still feel them.


Tell me...

How can you separate love from love?

How can you separate light from light?

How can you separate a soul from itself? Not from it's body... but from itself.

The body is not the being. The being is the soul...and the soul is the light...and light cannot be extinguished.


So tell me how can you separate the soul from its soulmate? The soulmates were made for each other. And yes we have multiple soulmates who were all created from the same essence...from derivatives of the same soul.


Don't you feel the light? Don't you feel the love? Don't you feel the tugging on your soul?


If I could see into my body I would see the spark. And that spark is powerful. Waiting to be ignited into a roaring flame. To be activated.


I feel my son's light. I feel his love. Whether sleep or in a state of "wakefulness" our bond has not been tethered. We are separated by space and time and realms and dreams...but nothing can separate his love from me.


One day this dream will end and we will be reunited for eternity with all of those who have gone ahead of us into the real life that awaits.


The life of this world is a dream. The real life is in the Hereafter, being eternal.


Peace, Love, and Light.

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